The Art of Surrender
I recently finished an audiobook called “The Surrender Experiment” by Michael A. Singer.
After the title came up and bounced around in my field for a while during conversations with different friends, I finally decided to download it and give it a listen.
The beating heart of Michael’s book — his life as ‘the experiment’ as it were — is the tale of how the more he got out of his own way, (aka acknowledging the ego’s thoughts, likes and dislikes, plans, etc. but not allowing them to be in the driver's seat) the more life’s perfection had room to unfold through him.
This book couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time, when my entire life and trajectory as I’d known it was being organically uprooted from beneath me. I tried to fight it in the beginning, I tried so hard to understand why this was happening. But the more I fought the way life was moving me, the more I suffered. My body became ill with nausea, disorientation, and panic. Until the point that I broke open and fell to my knees at my bedside, desperately reaching out to the Mother Mary statue on my nightstand and begging her grace to allow me a moment of peace.
Almost immediately, a stillness washed over me. The tears ceased to pour from my eyes, my brow unfurled, my stomach unraveled. I began to breathe again. I laid down in my bed to rest, awake, in the stillness. I knew what I needed to do.
The weeks that followed were a potent combo of some of the most euphoric and mournful days that I’ve ever experienced. I was dying, again. Not literally, but in the way that we die many times in our lives.
I felt everything, all of the things, all at once. And without grasping onto any thought, feeling, or emotion that would arise, I held life in a warm embrace. Humbled, and soft.
The spaciousness of complete surrender allowed me to trust fall into life’s flowing river and be carried where fate would have me go — somehow knowing in my gut that all was well, and all would continue to be well.
Even if I didn’t have the answers. Even if, I had no idea what was to come next. I could feel how life was guiding me, and holding me.
As I reflect on these past couple of months, to say that I didn’t still face difficult emotions, beliefs, and situations would be untrue. This path is not for the faint of heart. It’s for the courageous warriors who stand tall in the presence of their shadows and make peace offerings with them. It’s for the ones who unwaveringly devote their lives to Truth.
My love, did you know that you are the One?
When looking at this self-portrait, captured as I was right in the thick of this complete upheaval, what you may notice is the peacefulness in my facial expression. What you likely don’t see is how I’m quietly witnessing and lovingly holding all of the uncertainty, grief, and difficulty arising within me in utter allowance without identification.
Surrender isn’t giving up. It’s giving in.
That is to say, one chooses to no longer resist. Whether that’s giving in to what reveals itself to you on the inside, or having an openness and a willingness to receive the invitations which present in our external world.
And as anyone who actively practices this art of being will tell you, that while it sometimes feels scary, and may not always feel easy, life has this magnificent way of always getting it right. Trust in that my loves, with all of the faith in your beautiful heart, and you will never be misled.
I promise. 🏳️🤍🕊️
Infinite love,
Rach