Don’t Give Up
How does one unravel a tangled up mess of string? Slowly. First they must examine the mess all around. Locate a loose end, find an opening.
Take a deep breath.
At a quick glance, it may seem a daunting task, one that can’t be accomplished.
An endeavor that won’t satisfy the seeker of instant gratification.
A true challenge, one that will test your patience and measure your supply of willpower.
An opportunity to get to know how committed you actually are.
It won’t be fast. It won’t be easy. But what it can be is a meditation. An invitation for you to slow down and take the time to complete a task. Yes, actually complete (as in see through entirely, to its end) something. A chance to stop and breathe. A chance to stare deeply into the face of something and not run away because you know it’s gonna be hard.
You’ll get distracted. You’ll find a million other things to do. You’ll suddenly be hungry, and then thirsty, and then itchy, and then tired. “And you’ve been working so hard so it’s important to get your beauty rest…” you’ll tell yourself. You’ll justify the excuses over and over again. And they’ll continue to haunt your waking hours. And your sleeping ones too.
You’ll spend hours living vicariously through other people who you admire. People who are doing all the things you wish you were doing. You’ll picture what it would be like for you to live fully the way they do. Maybe you imagine that they’re just that way without any hard work and lots of energy put into whatever it is that they’re doing.
You’ll want to just be like that, or be doing those things now without putting in all the blood, sweat and tears because well, let’s face it: that sh*t is hard as hell. It’s work. It’s time. It’s energy. It’s continuously being challenged and breaking through just as much as it is breaking down and failing. It’s essentially, experience. A lifetime, however short or long, of experience.
And you’ll beat yourself up because you could be using your time so much wisely than you are. But it’s so much easier to just check out on social media or binge-watch your favorite Netflix shows all day (and night) on your days or hours off from your day job.
BUT THANK GOODNESS FOR SIGHT. AND I DON’T JUST MEAN THE TWO OBVIOUS LENSES PERFECTLY PLACED ON YOUR FACE. I’M TALKING ABOUT THE PART OF YOU THAT SEES DEEPLY INTO THE NATURE OF THINGS. THE PART THAT EXPLORES WHAT LIVES BENEATH THE SURFACE. THE RIDER OF WAVES, THE DEEP-SEA DIVER, THE TREASURE HUNTER. THE ONE WHO KNOWS THERE’S MORE TO ALL OF THIS. INFINITELY, AND EVERMORE.
So what’s the nugget? Challenge = growth. Be gentle and patient with yourself. One thing at a time, one day at a time. No need to be octopus woman anymore, not when it comes to this at least. Be forgiving if you make a move that feels like a “mistake” … and then remind yourself that wrongness is just a perception and not a real thing. There’s no such thing as making a mistake or diverting from your path. Every seeming mistake or back-step, every choice and every experience is part of the path moving forward. There’s stuff to learn there, keep your eyes open.
And also, try to be mindful of whether you’re masking or repressing your anger, frustration or depression with positive thinking.
FEEL ALL THE UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS, THEY’RE MEDICINAL.
Be present for the unraveling. Let it show itself to you in all its color and chaos. Allow space for your process to unfold before you. However long it takes. Don’t take one look at it and think it’s too much to take on. We’re never given anything we’re not strong enough to handle. We always have a choice, remember that.
Don’t give up.
With so much love,
Rachel
JOURNAL PROMPTS
What’s your relationship with your process like?
Do you have a problem-solving attitude, or do you tend to give up on yourself easily?
In what ways could you be more supportive of yourself, and follow through?